Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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