weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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