i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
