he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
