I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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