So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
