i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
