lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
