whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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