we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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