Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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