operation harelip BJ is a go
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
