is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
