I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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