What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
