my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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