Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
