He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
