you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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