She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't put those talents on a resume
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
