i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
