We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
