I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
