He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
