I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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