I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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