There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
