His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
