; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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