I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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