Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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