The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
