i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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