hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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