You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need a beard to bite.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
