last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
