Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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