so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
