Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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