if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
