and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
