There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
