Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
