I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
