No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
