Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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