I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
