You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
