Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
