Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
