she woke up with a sticky ear
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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