You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
that's an acceptable place to lick
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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