bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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