but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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